NEW place where we belong!

Check these out.  Cool clips and all……  

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VMS_hgSzSg

done

I’m done this term.

Till next year in Jan 2010.

  break time…yay!

6 down..4 2 go. FINALS!

6 finals are done, 4 to go next week.

This 3rd term, in my 2nd year are the following courses; Litigation 1, Corporate  & Business Law, Estate Administrations, Legal Software Applications, Workplace Preparation, and Real Estate 1.

The exams that are left for next week, the 4 are for Corporate / Business Law and for Estate Administrations.

I will have a rough 3 weeks off before 4th term starts in Mid Jan 2010.

I hope by then, I’ll recover from this crunch mode of studying, and get the rest time I need.

Looking forward to this weekend though.

finals

I have 6 finals this week coming up, and 4 the week later.

The children have bronchitis, and I feel I’m probably going to be next since I’m looking after them.

My chicken (tiger soup) soup is helping a lot, yet it’s going to take them at least 2-3 weeks before they fully recover.

burnt

There’s this expression that goes, you get burned, and you get burned again.  You think you would learn your lesson the first time.

I don’t know, what it is with people and their games.  And it’s a real shame, a cry shame that people just never truly grow up.

 

huh what unsupervised places

So, I took my kids to the library the other day.  As we’re sitting there in the library and we’re gathered in this one corner spot, with cushions all around.  My kids race back and forth between the shelves and get one book after another as they stack them up real high.

As we sit down and start skimmering through the pages, and I’m reading it to them, and they have them all in different languages.  I’m glancing around at the setting of this library.

They have a few computers around for the people to use with their Library card usage, and as the kids are playing their games on it.  They’re limited to 30 minutes each.   But, guess what?

The same kids are still sitting there playing the games, and making a HUGE mess in the library.   And no supervision of them.  Their parents or legal guardians are nowhere to be found.

As the librarian points out, “Parents have errands to do, and drop off their kids. ”  Despite it’s not their job, it’s suddenly expected of them to watch after these kids, clean up after their mess one after another because parents are too cheap and too lazy to hire a sitter.  I’m being honest here, and honestly why would anyone just leave their kids to fend for themselves for a few hours while they go out somewhere without them?

Then again, I found this to be true at other places such as the Mall.  I remember when I was working during the “Seasonal” time in a luggage store.  I’m out doing the Sidewalk sale, and these children approached me asking me for spare change because they needed money to get a bus ride home, PLUS they were hungry, and thirsty and didn’t have any money.

I asked them how they got here, and where were their parents?   They shrugged and said at home, maybe or out somewhere.  They don’t know. But, they’ve been here for hours and their parents dropped them off and took off.

I can totally understand if these kids were like 12, and 14, and up.  But, no.  These were 3 kids, that happen to fall into the ages of 4, 6, and 8.   These are still way too young to be out alone by themselves, and way too young to be out in the mall begging the people as if they’re poor for FOOD, and something to drink, and a bus ride home.!

But, of course these are not the only places.  You’ll find kids wandering by themselves in the grocery stores, restaurants usually the fast-food kind such as McD’s and such.   Chuck E Cheese is a huge one, and Kidsports is another.  You’ll find that the parents have places to go, and little space and time.  They’ll drop off the kids at these places and some will be smart and give the kids some food to go along for the ride.  Some will give money.  Others will say, fend for yourself, this will teach you about how to be independent, and that sense of looking after yourself alone as your training.

That’s crazy you know.

But, unfortunately it’s what is happening right now.

What is the proper age?  

 

Did it Strike a Nerve?

So, I asked someone recently about my new change and they told me it caused a lot of feeling of uncomfortableness.

OH wow!  

And that I struck a nerve with some people.    So, does that mean I struck a nerve with them so much to a point, that they felt not only “uncomfortable” to talk to me anymore, but to a point in as they say, “I struck a nerve.” So does that mean, that they felt somewhat paralyzed, unable to find themselves to move a muscle in this situation because of their “uncomfortableness” or even this new sheer of insecurities and low-self-esteem of ignorance.

 

People have to realize this is me, and if people were truly my friends they’d realize this is what I’m going through rather than turning away completely or giving the “cold shoulder attitude” type of thing.

Not only is it immature, but it’s just plain RUDE.

And this is why I find myself turning to the others for advice, a shoulder to lean on for support than to this.  If I’m going to get this then yeah I guess.

You know, some people saw my “note” in my Facebook and decided to have a full blown conversation with me about “saving me” and for them to find their own reasonings for what I did according to them to make sense in their own ways.

And I had a lot of my Non-muslim classmates, friends all asking me the same thing?   “Like does your religion, are the people really that intolerable about someone that doesn’t cover?”

I said, it depends.  Some have that attitude in which they think they’re better than some.  Some have the whole mentality that if you don’t wear it, you’re a complete, major sinner going to go down the wrong path, blah blah.  And some believe you know, that it comes from the heart, and it’s all about intentions you know.

Not everyone is bad, just like others that make their own choices on things.  It’s their life, their decision, their choice.  Nothing should be forced practiced.  I’ve always been like that, I’ve always felt that nothing should be forced and the more you force something, the more it’ll go the opposite way.

I can yell at my kids to pray   OR I can encourage them to pray with intentions and actions.  Children see what they see and copy what they want, whether we want them to or not.   But, it all depends on the matters of the heart.

If you believe it in our heart.  Right now at this point I don’t believe it’s for me.  No matter what anyone says otherwise that I’m in the wrong, and whatever.  I’ve heard it all before and I’ve seen it all before.  It’s the same thing.  Talking to me, trying to convince me to go back to it, won’t convince me. 

And totally giving the 180 degree of not talking is also another reason why I’m like….*sigh*   This is why there’s problems in our community.  Lack of support.

I see more of my classmates than any of my muslim brothers and sisters.  And most of us that have been through a lot we all say you know be patient and you’ll get your dua’ahs answered.

And others will want to put in their say, their input.

So, yeah I guess I did strike a nerve with this change of mine.  People are just going to have to adjust and get use to that.

Imagine if a new muslim sister were to feel and be treated like I’m being treated.  It’s one thing to definitely get her to run away as far as possible if people have that sense in their heart, that attitude you know, like omg, she’s not covering her hair..omg..omg….astagfiruAllah!   oh she’s causing a lot of trouble of having people look her way..omg omg…..

 

You know that’s not the only thing.

Religion…the practicing of it….the being good part……the part of doing right…….all has to come from yourself.

Your heart.  You need to feel it in every inch of your bone and body.  You need to feel that warmth, and strength to get you through it.

But, if your heart is not 100% into you wearing a piece of cloth on your head, even if your religion says, “Tell the believing woman to lower their gaze and protect themselves and guard a veil overselves.”   Yes I know it’s in the Qur’an.

It also comes from the heart though.  I can still practice my religion, still be a Muslim and do what I normally do.  Whether I’m wearing the hijab or not.

Same thing.  I can wear the hijab, and not do what the religion requires of me and despite I’m wearing it, people will say “Masha’Allah that sis is so pious.”  Why can’t they say that about me, without it?  I’m still the same person.

Yeah.  I have this new spunk of energy.  This new spunk of attitude.  You think?   Of course I do.  For so long I had people taking advantage of me, and walking all over me.  You think I’d still want to take that same route of having people treat me like I’m nothing.

I’m something.  A lot more better than a nerve being struck, a lot more than that feeling of uncomfortableness.  You know, I’m a person.  A real, live, genuine person.  That has feelings.   And they’re all in check.

Alhamdulillah.

 

 

YES! The new Me!

Yes.

Get use to it!

All I have to say is CHANGE.

I changed my mind and I felt like it.

No looking back, no regrets.  Look forward and not into the past.

This has nothing to do with my marriage ending, or the abuse that I faced.  It has nothing to do with the tariqa.  This has to do with me.  And my own self and my own life and it’s solely on me.

So, if you’re left wondering why and what happened.  NOTHING happened.  IT’s not a HUGE deal so please do not make it seem bigger than it really is.

Telling me I’m in the wrong, or in the path of destruction or disobedient really won’t convince me to put it back on for the sake of you.

so..

if you cannot accept this then please do not read as one loss still gains plenty.

Whatever happens is between me and Allah alone and not left for anyone to judge.

And I know some will say I’m not judging but hey…..why?  And some will say I do not want to judge you sis but what the hell are you doing?   Excuse me.  But, it’s my life so please don’t tell me how to live it and what to wear or do.

I do not go into your own lives and tell you, you should do this and this and this.   So please give me the same courtesy and do the same ALRIGHT!

And I’ve had enough of people taking advantage of me, and walking all over me to get what they want.

I’m no longer that little innocent person that was afraid of saying the wrong thing because of fear of hurting that person or offending them.

Right now…You’re offending me, and hurting my feelings by telling me that I’m in the wrong path.   Cuz, you know…it’s with the attitudes, this attitude that gets people to go where they are.  The looked down upon, that I’m better than you attitude type of thing.   

Hopefully you don’t have to face that same looked down upon that I had to face within the last few weeks and I’ve noticed that some that talked to me regularly don’t really talk to me anymore cause of the “SHOCK”.

Well get over the shock ok.  This is me.   Take it or leave it!

And if you leave it……it’s your loss yet my gain.

My gain to discover there’s more people in the world than the likes of people that live in the boxes of ignorance and snubbing.

blech!

Do you think Discrimination still exists?

Do you think discrimination still exists in the workfield?

I would say, technically it’s not suppose to.  But, does that mean it doesn’t because technically it’s discrimination, therefore shouldn’t?

Unfortunately, I have experienced a whole round of discrimination round and a lot has to do with my hijab.  That’s headscarf for those that do not understand what hijab means.  Despite I find it unfair, others might find it fair to their own ignorance.   I call it ignorant that they cannot accept difference, and embrace diversity, rather they remain in this state that they refuse to accept anything different other than their own.

It makes me wonder, what?  We’re in 2009, we’re almost in 2010 and still people want to live as if we cannot have a choice.  As a muslim woman, I want to know that we all have a choice, and we all have our freedom to choose on what we want to be, and choose to live our lives, and it really makes it a harder struggle when one is told on numerous of occasions that they have such talent, yet their scarf gets in their way.

WHAT?  Did I hear them right, even the ones that scream out religion from the top of their lungs are telling me, it’s a choice, yes.   As religion comes from the heart.  True, it does come from the heart, and if I feel this is me, and without it, I feel a sense of being pulled out and away, why should I go that way? 

But, if I find myself not able to find work out in the work field despite my experience, and despite my education, and despite my good character, my understanding, my patience, that I should bare understanding and patience to this ignorant statement of that people cannot accept change, so you may as well embrace their rules, afterall it’s their place right.

But, then you think why would you want to work at such a place if they have such ignorant state, and if that is the only place or you’ve been to a dozen or so places, and different places, not just one, and you get the same excuse over and over you wonder….

WHY!?  Still…

 

Do you think Discrimination still exists in the workplace?  Is it right?  Do you find yourself struggling to find yourself?

I mean, some tell me, to go to the interview without the hijab, get the job…then worry about the hijab later.

Yet my will inside says no, remain firm, remain strong and keep faith, keep true to yourself, don’t let go, don’t give in.  Yet, I can’t help but wonder, what if?   Why am I having such these doubts?  Is it because the reality is starting to sink in, the reality of people telling me that no one will hire a hijabi cuz of their fear of whatever fear they’re fearing?

Where does that leave me?  Where does that leave all the young sisters out there in the same boat, struggling, and finding themselves in the same boat?

I really wish people would get out of their ignorant state, it’s really annoying having to reply to a help wanted ad, only to be told that it’s an “old sign”.   Or you see them taking applicants of others, much fuller people, people without head-scarves, and being told they “FIT” the store….so, what does that mean, I don’t fit the store?  Why?

Of course, they won’t admit it’s the scarf yet, of course it’s the obvious as wearing the L shirt on your back, or having it stamped to your forehead.  I would prefer them to wear that because of their discriminating, ignorant state.

Ya, Allah!  I pray I can manage and be strong through this, and pray that I can find a job in which I do not have to feel these pressures…insha’Allah..  one day…..   maybe……   the younger generation will be more open, and these ignorant people really can’t stand a chance if we all speak up, and out against this, only way diversity can be accepted amongst everyone.

 

Email replies

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I think this is worth mentioning for.  Going onto the link itself speaks for itself.

For me to copy and paste it all is too much of a space, not to mention better to go to the source.