It has come with such great regret that a friend of mine whom I have gotten to know over the past year, well since last year has passed away.
We met earlier last year in February 2011 from another chat site, and from talking to one another we saw that we were both from Ontario, and her from London, and me from Brampton area, close to Toronto. She talked to me about her plans of wanting to live and move to Toronto, as it’s been a dream of hers to move out into the busy city and work and live on her own. She talked about her specialty which she wanted to do with her own life, was complete her studies in hair design, and eventually open up her own salon within the next few years. She wanted to learn as much as possible, and not give up on all that life has to offer her.
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She talked to me about her family, and her friends around her and she asked me for advice from time to time on certain matters and I shared with her my experiences on life and things that were comforting to her, and explained it to her in a way that she could relate and understand.
As the months passed, and the summer ended, she eventually found an apartment in Toronto along with her friend and moved in.
As the weeks passed, and months she went from one job to another trying to find her place in where she could express herself and offer her expertise on the things she knew best.
As she celebrated her 22nd birthday on December 16th, 2011, we talked about making plans to get together either she come over to the house for dinner, meet the kids, my kids and they could see that I had a good friend. And as the holidays rolled around, she talked about her family finally seeing that she was on her own, and doing her best and that they would finally be coming around to accept that.
The new year rolls in, and her finding a really good job and making some really good money and traveling back, we kept in touch through online, through our FB chat, texting over the phone, and calling and talking to each other. She was really happy with her new job, and really happy with the way things were starting to fall into place and how her family was finally accepting that she really wanted to live in Toronto and how much it really meant to her that they were finally allowing her to grow up, and see her as the adult she was developing/growing into and that she’d have their support from this time on.
That was two weeks ago when she told me about that, and just a few days ago as she was talking about her traveling, then on early Fri morning, I stumbled upon hearing people giving their condolences to her family, and her friends and how tragic it was that her life ended so quickly.
I thought to myself, is this a joke? What do you mean she’s gone?! How could she be gone? We were just talking, we were just laughing about things, and talking about getting together and just having a few of our friends for some laughs. Taking the trip to New York City and visiting our friends there, and how my business was going on, and how she’d be interested in something that sometime soon, after she is settled in more. And I wanted to do my best to help her out the best way I could. But, she was gone.
I would no longer receive a text from her saying, “Call me.” or have her call me leaving me a voice message saying, “I need to talk to someone, I need someone to listen to what I have to say.” I won’t hear that anymore.
I won’t hear her say online, “This is an awesome song.” As she dances to it, and shows us her new hairdo that she did with her straightener, or her new outfit that she bought that was on sale. Or anything happening in her life, it just won’t happen. I won’t hear her say, “Oh that person is really nice, and I wouldn’t mind finding someone nice like that in my life.” that you feel tears coming to your eyes, because you want the best for your friend like you want for yourself.
You want that kind of success you have in your life as it develops to work on for your friends because you know they could go a long way with it, and now it’s over. It’s nothing you can do or say to make it come back, or have her come back. I ask myself why, why her? But, then why anyone. It was just a tragic accident and she was there at the wrong time. If only, she didn’t get on the road at that exact time. If only she delayed herself more and talked some more to someone else that spoke to her that morning. If only he said, stay and talk to me awhile, I just want to hear your voice, your sweet laugh, your giggle, anything! you know it’s just so upsetting to hear that someone you care about, is gone.
I don’t know if I’ll get to say goodbye to her, and I hope she knows how much I appreciated her as a friend, and I wish I could have said goodbye or even had the chance to meet up with her, instead of our scheduling and postponing it week after week.
Why? Cuz we don’t realize how life is short, how things can end just like that in a matter of minutes. I cannot imagine what she might have been going through in those final moments when this was happening. It’s just really tragic and sad, that it had to be her. Out of 32 cars involved in a huge pile up on Thurs Jan 19th, 2012 and 2 people died! 2 people! One man going one way..and her going another…her! she died! she probably didn’t expect, she’s a strong person, a fighter, with so much faith and belief in doing her best and living her life to the fullest she did, she really did.
and she’s gone!
So in memory of her, I wrote this blog in hopes that we keep her memory alive, and appreciate her for the person she was.
Sherri Helen Sigrid Millar Born December 16, 1989 – Died- January 19, 2012.
22 years old!
May she rest in peace. I’ll never forget you, and will remember you.
